Day 9- You're Going to Reap Just What You Sow

I want to try something different. Most simply, I am going to organize this blog a little differently. Slightly less simply, I am going to start using meta-goals. What this means is I will take a certain set of goals and set a meta-goal for following them without failure. Most of the time this will be a week. I will not add new goals until I've met the meta-goal, that is, going a whole week without breaking a single goal/rule. And finally, I want to make this a bit more robust. A bit more interesting. The more I can invest myself in this tool, the better it will work for me. To this end, instead of making copy-pasta and writing for each goal, I will only comment when I break a specific goal. For the bulk of my writing I am going to do more of a journal-style entry about my day, my life, my thoughts. Also, I picked up a webcam and after I find some basic video-editing software and familiarize myself with it, I am going to start "vlogging" as well. Joy!

So as for organization, I am going to group my goals into rough categories. There are several reasons for this, chief among them my desire to advance my whole self and make sure I'm not just taking "easy" goals to keep things going. First I'll lay down all my current goals, and afterward post the new ones. Plus, I'll be retiring a goal today to the vault because I feel it is going well enough to move off of the "current" list! However this, as well as future retired goals will still be "active" in that it's something I wish to keep up and in the event it becomes an issue again will once again become active. Then to wrap it up, some thoughts and general comments.

Physical Health

• No smoking.
• Exercise 5 times a week.
• Vegetarian/slightly pescatarian diet.
• No more than three coffees per day
• No more than one soda per day. (FYI I have been lumping all sugary drinks, redbull, etc. in this category)
• Vitamins daily.
• Drink 2-3 liters of water daily.
• 7 hours of sleep nightly.
• 30 minutes meditation each morning.

 Social

• Call a friend or family member every week whom I haven't talked to in a while.

 Organization

• Keep and follow a detailed schedule.
• Keep a budget and balance all purchases.
• Add to blog every evening.

Renaissance Man

• Practice guitar 1 hour at least 5 times per week.
• Listen to an alien album each week. (This week's is Pornography by The Cure) 

*NEW GOALS*
Physical Health

• Brush teeth every morning and night. 

Renaissance Man

• Regular reading, mostly of "classics."

*NEW CATEGORIES*-
Behavioral

• Stop being a dick to Mr. X. This person will not be identified so as to protect their privacy.
• When angry or frustrated, become conscious of this and use focus and breath exercise to regain control.
• Allow for more realistic amounts of free time to avoid another over-stressed blowout.

One-Off

• Clean out closet, donating to clothing drive what I may, taking what else I can to Goodwill, and getting rid of the crap. (TUESDAY)
• Take in paperwork for PTK scholarship monies. (TUESDAY)
• See adviser in order to unlock registration. (THURSDAY)
• Apply for Spanish immersion program next semester. (THURSDAY)
• Update/adjust schedule. (MONDAY)

*RETIRING*

• NAIL BITING!!

Hooray for not biting nails! Although they look so juicy. My cuticles look much better but some spots are so badly damaged they still need a while to heal up. I think this is my first real success! It may not seem huge, but both unto itself and as a symbol of what I am trying to do here, I feel like it's a great milestone.
So I talked a bit in my manifesto about why I'm doing this. Well, ever since my mid-teens I feel like I have been waiting for my life to begin. It struck me recently how much time I've spent staying inside, mostly playing video games. I like games, but I don't really get any real fulfillment from them. There's quite a world out there and I've got a lot of raw potential as far as being an awesome person. But if I spend my whole life playing games... I'll put it this way. I want my death to wreck people. Yes, this probably sounds strange and selfish. The thing is, we feel the loss of the truly awesome people. Whether we know them personally or not, it's the unique individuals that touch our lives in some lasting way that we really miss. But don't get me wrong, it's not just that I want people to fucking hate it when I'm gone (although I'm sure this is probably something I want), it's just that if people fucking hate it when I'm gone then I will know that I lived something close to what I dream to be.
In my manifesto I wrote about the one thing I know I want in life; to be a good person. This is obviously an incredibly subjective thing. I don't mean I want to be a "nice" or "kind" person, though I definitely wish to be more kind than I am. "The Good" to me is living in the fullness of human potential, Of having a real lust for life and embracing what the world has to offer. I want to be the Ubermensh, or at least as close as I can get. If I can reach a point where I feel I am the best I can be, I will be happy, no matter the deficit that might remain between that and my imagined ideal. What I do know is right now, I am nowhere near this. Maybe this is the only point to life: To realize there is only us. There is no cosmic order, no hierarchy of value, no inherent meaning. I think the existentialist path is to understand this truth. Not lament it, as I mostly do, but instead to accept that we will find no answers; we must make them.
Perhaps.

On a lighter note, I am going to post songs! Not always, but when it strikes me or feels appropriate. The first one comes from Mr. Lou Reed: