A keen observer might notice I changed the number of days to advance my meta-goal to 5 from 7. A keen observer might further notice it blank.
Today I did not make it to the gym, for I forgot to take shorts/clothing that would be appropriate. It turned out this was kind of a good thing as homeowners are getting back to their home soon and I must sweep and steam the drapes, as it were. Also, for meditation this morning I just sat up when I first awoke and focused on my breathing, but fell asleep after I'm estimating 5 minutes. No gold star today!
Getting better at my guitar transitions, and messing around with picking more. I've got my very own song in the works.
So that was today.
Being at the front-end of the redux, I've added a few goals:
Keep a daily journal- this will be different content than my blog, handwritten, and not posted
Keep a dream journal- I've got one that contains dream journaling from several different periods that I will continue to add to
Well, with an impromptu trip to Seattle and then the long Holiday weekend for Thanksgiving, it's been a while. But this effort is not lost, nor forgotten. I updated the "Current Goals" section above, adding the current alien album, taking off some things, etc. Tomorrow I'll officially be back on track!
You may have noticed, if you are privy to the information, that my birthday is fast approaching. I have a several-years-running tradition of spending my birthday alone, reflecting on the year that has passed and the year yet to come. I will be repeating this tradition this year. I am going to head down a forest road and find a private spot then just hang out by myself. I'll walk around, think, write, go over the previous year and get a good idea of where I want to go with the coming year. I will attempt to distill this experience into a tangible blog entry so that I may incorporate this, my new tool.
I am going to give smoking another go. I am so torn about it. On the one hand, I like it. On the other, I am afraid of cancer. In fact it plays into one of the contradictions I talked about in an earlier post. These contradictions will make their way to this blog tomorrow so that I may have a conscious sense of them as I go into my birthday reflection.
To any who missed my entries and feared I was straying, fear not. All shall soon be even better than before. With the combination of my coming birthday and an approaching new year, I am going to refocus my desires and renew my efforts at personal transformation.
Things got switched up a bit today. I picked up the guitar right after my morning meditation and played it for somewhere around 40 minutes. When I got back to the Sedona house after school and the gym, I decided I needed to put some more polish on my content for tomorrow's D&D session so I only went through the chords real quick and did a few rounds of the picking part I am practicing. Ya alliteration!
You may also notice the new layout! A simple change, and one I should have thought of earlier. As you can see, my current goals will now appear between my calendar and the most recent post.
I've had some moments of feeling stupid and foolish about the what I'm doing here. I've also had numerous criticisms run through my mind about the nature of my goals, the pacing, etc. A theme keeps coming to mind about the contradictions in my life, and while I won't be posting tomorrow I think I'll be ready to write it out Thursday, so that should be an interesting post.
Overall, I feel rather positive about what I'm doing. I am glad to be experiencing success in the goals I've retired and the progress I am making, specifically with the guitar and committing to regular exercise. The weight loss I've experienced so far is a nice encouragement as well, and I keep trying to think consciously about my nutrition and lifestyle. I will probably soon start to keep track of my daily calorie intake. Gotta watch those carbs with the veggie thing. ;)
Also, I haven't had a free moment to really search for a good way to capture video in order to start vlogging, so if anyone reading this has any tips/suggestions, I'd much appreciate them~
Thanks for visiting, catch you Thursday!
Hello friends. After some reflection today I think I may have some new retirees! I also came up with a few ideas for the Garden, so take a look. Got back to the gym today, it felt great. Despite the copious amounts of food consumed this weekend, I'm down to 207. I'm assuming, given my breaks in attendance, that this is largely due to cutting out all the soda and meat. Guitar is going quite well, especially after this weekend. Not only did I get some guidance but some inspiration to keep at it and a progressing understanding of what's going on musically. I have to say this has been my most overtly satisfying goal so far! That's why I bumped up my practice time and set some specific sub-goals to focus on.
META-GOAL PROGRESS
* - - - - - -
CURRENT GOALS Retirees highlighted!
Physical Health
Exercise 5 times a week.
No smoking.
Vegetarian/slightly pescatarian diet.
Vitamins daily.
Drink 2-3 liters of water daily.
30 minutes morning meditation
30 minutes afternoon/evening meditation.
Brush teeth every morning and night.
Behavioral
Stop being a dick to Mr. X. This person will not be identified so as to protect their privacy.
When angry or frustrated, become conscious of this and use focus and breath exercise to regain control.
Allow for more realistic amounts of free time to avoid another over-stressed blowout.
Social
Call a friend or family member every week whom I haven't talked to in a while.
Organization
Keep and follow a detailed schedule.
Keep a budget and balance all purchases.
Add to blog every evening.
Renaissance Man
Practice guitar 1.5 hours a day (No Weds)
Transition to real C chord
F chord
Picking riff with hammering and pull-offs
Listen to an alien album each week. (This week's is "The Velvet Underground and Nico" by the Velvet Underground and...uh...Nico)
Regular reading, mostly of "classics."
That's about it for now. When I get done I'm going to get my evening meditation in, then take my melatonin and read a bit before crashing. Hasta manana!
Had a great weekend with friends, and got some guitar tutoring to boot! This is as good a time as any to note that I won't count things such as this as a failure to follow my plan. Similarly, having to move things around for school or family or something is no big deal. As long as I don't fail due to laziness or a lack of self control or some such it's not violating my goals, or their central essence at least.
I am resetting the meta-goal progress and adding in some new goals.
This week's new goals:
Practice guitar 1.5 hours a day (No Weds)
Transition to real C chord
F chord
Picking riff with hammering and pull-offs
30 minutes afternoon/evening meditation
META GOAL PROGRESS
- - - - - - -
Physical Health
Exercise 5 times a week.
No smoking.
Vegetarian/slightly pescatarian diet.
Vitamins daily.
Drink 2-3 liters of water daily.
30 minutes meditation each morning.
Brush teeth every morning and night.
Behavioral
Stop being a dick to Mr. X. This person will not be identified so as to protect their privacy.
When angry or frustrated, become conscious of this and use focus and breath exercise to regain control.
Allow for more realistic amounts of free time to avoid another over-stressed blowout.
Social
Call a friend or family member every week whom I haven't talked to in a while.
Organization
Keep and follow a detailed schedule.
Keep a budget and balance all purchases.
Add to blog every evening.
Renaissance Man
Practice guitar 1 hour at least 5 times per week.
Listen to an alien album each week. (This week's is _______ by the Velvet Underground)
Well on the tail end of guitar practice last night I got a call and after my chat somehow forgot all about my poor blog. So this entry is for yesterday, the 11th. First, the goals:
META GOAL PROGRESS
* * - - - - -
Physical Health
Exercise 5 times a week.
No smoking.
Vegetarian/slightly pescatarian diet.
Vitamins daily.
Drink 2-3 liters of water daily.
30 minutes meditation each morning.
Brush teeth every morning and night.
Behavioral
Stop being a dick to Mr. X. This person will not be identified so as to protect their privacy.
When angry or frustrated, become conscious of this and use focus and breath exercise to regain control.
Allow for more realistic amounts of free time to avoid another over-stressed blowout.
Social
Call a friend or family member every week whom I haven't talked to in a while.
Organization
Keep and follow a detailed schedule.
Keep a budget and balance all purchases.
Add to blog every evening.
Renaissance Man
Practice guitar 1 hour at least 5 times per week.
Listen to an alien album each week. (This week's is Pornography by The Cure)
Regular reading, mostly of "classics."
One-Off
Clean out closet, donating to clothing drive what I may, taking what else I can to Goodwill, and getting rid of the crap. (TUESDAY)
See adviser in order to unlock registration. (THURSDAY)
Apply for Spanish immersion program next semester. (THURSDAY)
Rather normal day, other than the fact that the water was shut off Tuesday. So, first thing in the morning I swung by and paid for service to be returned. Guitar is going really well, I am getting better at switching between the different chords and am enjoying it quite a bit. I find myself picking it up often to mess around for a few minutes beyond just the hour I have scheduled. In other news, I have added the Goal Garden! This is for ideas that have come to me for future goals that I don't want to forget. Check it out, and feel free to comment! I'm also thinking I might pilot using a poll to let the readers decide on new goals for the period from a few choices. Mmmmmm, interactivity!
Also, advance warning: I've got friends visiting this weekend. I will try to get an entry done Friday before they arrive but that may not work out, and I'm not sure how long they're staying so Saturday might not appear til Sunday morning.
Ah! I almost forgot, I can't see an advisor today because it's a holiday, duh. I will try to get in tomorrow morning before class.
However, applying for the Spanish program is online so I'll be doing it right after this! Hasta manana!
Argh housesitting! It's worth it overall.... I mean it got me a web cam and the netbook I am making tonight's entry on. Anyway, I am making some adjustments so as to not be held back on my meta-goal. Also, I realized earlier I have more ready to be retired!!! Woowoo!
META-GOAL PROGRESS
* - - - - - -
CURRENT GOALS New retires are highlighted! Physical Health
Exercise 5 times a week.
No smoking.
Vegetarian/slightly pescatarian diet.
No more than three coffees per day
No more than one soda per day. (FYI I have been lumping all sugary drinks, redbull, etc. in this category)
Vitamins daily.
Drink 2-3 liters of water daily.
7 hours of sleep nightly.
30 minutes meditation each morning.
Brush teeth every morning and night.
Behavioral
Stop being a dick to Mr. X. This person will not be identified so as to protect their privacy.
When angry or frustrated, become conscious of this and use focus and breath exercise to regain control.
Allow for more realistic amounts of free time to avoid another over-stressed blowout.
Social
Call a friend or family member every week whom I haven't talked to in a while.
Organization
Keep and follow a detailed schedule.
Keep a budget and balance all purchases.
Add to blog every evening.
Renaissance Man
Practice guitar 1 hour at least 5 times per week.
Listen to an alien album each week. (This week's is Pornography by The Cure)
Regular reading, mostly of "classics."
One-Off
Clean out closet, donating to clothing drive what I may, taking what else I can to Goodwill, and getting rid of the crap. (TUESDAY)
Take in paperwork for PTK scholarship monies. (TUESDAY)
See adviser in order to unlock registration. (THURSDAY)
Apply for Spanish immersion program next semester. (THURSDAY)
Update/adjust schedule. (MONDAY)
What's that you ask? What's the deal with the struck-out exercise and smoking? Well, they're going to continue to mess up my meta goal until I get them figured out. With the exercise I have been sacrificing that time for commuting. With the smoking I've got like half a pack and I know I'm not going to throw them out so this one will continue when the pack is gone. Still only smoking 2/3 a day, which is an improvement anyway. Those highlighted goodies are all being retired because I've been following them really easily. Hooray! Anyway, short post tonight as I want to study a bit more for my Spanish test tomorrow. o7
I am current;y housesitting in Sedona. Of course, I still have classes to attend so this means I am commuting to Flagstaff and back until the 28th when my tour of duty is up. What I didn't think about was the time out of my day I would lose! So this inherently messed up a few things, but more on that below... A thought occurred to me, that I should link the song at the top so that it may be played whilst the reader peruses. Enjoy!
META-GOAL PROGRESS No stars today. =(
- - - - - - -
CURRENT GOALS Today's busted stuff is highlighted! Physical Health
No smoking.
Exercise 5 times a week.
Vegetarian/slightly pescatarian diet.
No more than three coffees per day
No more than one soda per day. (FYI I have been lumping all sugary drinks, redbull, etc. in this category)
Vitamins daily.
Drink 2-3 liters of water daily.
7 hours of sleep nightly.
30 minutes meditation each morning.
Brush teeth every morning and night.
Behavioral
Stop being a dick to Mr. X. This person will not be identified so as to protect their privacy.
When angry or frustrated, become conscious of this and use focus and breath exercise to regain control.
Allow for more realistic amounts of free time to avoid another over-stressed blowout.
Social
Call a friend or family member every week whom I haven't talked to in a while.
Organization
Keep and follow a detailed schedule.
Keep a budget and balance all purchases.
Add to blog every evening.
Renaissance Man
Practice guitar 1 hour at least 5 times per week.
Listen to an alien album each week. (This week's is Pornography by The Cure)
Regular reading, mostly of "classics."
One-Off
Clean out closet, donating to clothing drive what I may, taking what else I can to Goodwill, and getting rid of the crap. (TUESDAY)
Take in paperwork for PTK scholarship monies. (TUESDAY)
See adviser in order to unlock registration. (THURSDAY)
Apply for Spanish immersion program next semester. (THURSDAY)
Update/adjust schedule. (MONDAY)
FOOD LOG
Granola/Kashi w/ soy milk, glass of green naked juice, cup of coffee.
Tomato basil pasta, banana.
Shrimp, ceviche w/ corn chips, dill potato salad.
Ok I'm going to lay the blame for the meditation and exercise on my housesitting situation. Ah, the schedule-following as well. I got up @ 6:30, but spent an hour taking care of the animals and then had to hit the road so I could do my reading before class. I may have been a bit lazy about the exercise... I think there is a small gym in Oak Creek so I'll probably grab a membership for the month. As for the cigarettes... I have no excuse. I got em Friday for the drive to and back from Phoenix because for me that's a non-smoking challenge on par with drinking almost. I can't bring myself to throw the remainder out, ugh, in the morning I swears it!
Guitar is going well. Instead of just trying the same song over and over (which I was quickly getting bored with) I just learned several chords (A, D, E, Em, G, C, and this weird crazy-named one) and have been making little songs to practice transferring between them. Got a strap and a capo, I really like walking around while I mess around. Seems easier to get around the guitar too.
I want to try something different. Most simply, I am going to organize this blog a little differently. Slightly less simply, I am going to start using meta-goals. What this means is I will take a certain set of goals and set a meta-goal for following them without failure. Most of the time this will be a week. I will not add new goals until I've met the meta-goal, that is, going a whole week without breaking a single goal/rule. And finally, I want to make this a bit more robust. A bit more interesting. The more I can invest myself in this tool, the better it will work for me. To this end, instead of making copy-pasta and writing for each goal, I will only comment when I break a specific goal. For the bulk of my writing I am going to do more of a journal-style entry about my day, my life, my thoughts. Also, I picked up a webcam and after I find some basic video-editing software and familiarize myself with it, I am going to start "vlogging" as well. Joy!
So as for organization, I am going to group my goals into rough categories. There are several reasons for this, chief among them my desire to advance my whole self and make sure I'm not just taking "easy" goals to keep things going. First I'll lay down all my current goals, and afterward post the new ones. Plus, I'll be retiring a goal today to the vault because I feel it is going well enough to move off of the "current" list! However this, as well as future retired goals will still be "active" in that it's something I wish to keep up and in the event it becomes an issue again will once again become active. Then to wrap it up, some thoughts and general comments.
Physical Health
No smoking.
Exercise 5 times a week.
Vegetarian/slightly pescatarian diet.
No more than three coffees per day
No more than one soda per day. (FYI I have been lumping all sugary drinks, redbull, etc. in this category)
Vitamins daily.
Drink 2-3 liters of water daily.
7 hours of sleep nightly.
30 minutes meditation each morning.
Social
Call a friend or family member every week whom I haven't talked to in a while.
Organization
Keep and follow a detailed schedule.
Keep a budget and balance all purchases.
Add to blog every evening.
Renaissance Man
Practice guitar 1 hour at least 5 times per week.
Listen to an alien album each week. (This week's is Pornography by The Cure)
*NEW GOALS* Physical Health
Brush teeth every morning and night.
Renaissance Man
Regular reading, mostly of "classics."
*NEW CATEGORIES*- Behavioral
Stop being a dick to Mr. X. This person will not be identified so as to protect their privacy.
When angry or frustrated, become conscious of this and use focus and breath exercise to regain control.
Allow for more realistic amounts of free time to avoid another over-stressed blowout.
One-Off
Clean out closet, donating to clothing drive what I may, taking what else I can to Goodwill, and getting rid of the crap. (TUESDAY)
Take in paperwork for PTK scholarship monies. (TUESDAY)
See adviser in order to unlock registration. (THURSDAY)
Apply for Spanish immersion program next semester. (THURSDAY)
Update/adjust schedule. (MONDAY)
*RETIRING*
NAIL BITING!!
Hooray for not biting nails! Although they look so juicy. My cuticles look much better but some spots are so badly damaged they still need a while to heal up. I think this is my first real success! It may not seem huge, but both unto itself and as a symbol of what I am trying to do here, I feel like it's a great milestone.
So I talked a bit in my manifesto about why I'm doing this. Well, ever since my mid-teens I feel like I have been waiting for my life to begin. It struck me recently how much time I've spent staying inside, mostly playing video games. I like games, but I don't really get any real fulfillment from them. There's quite a world out there and I've got a lot of raw potential as far as being an awesome person. But if I spend my whole life playing games... I'll put it this way. I want my death to wreck people. Yes, this probably sounds strange and selfish. The thing is, we feel the loss of the truly awesome people. Whether we know them personally or not, it's the unique individuals that touch our lives in some lasting way that we really miss. But don't get me wrong, it's not just that I want people to fucking hate it when I'm gone (although I'm sure this is probably something I want), it's just that if people fucking hate it when I'm gone then I will know that I lived something close to what I dream to be.
In my manifesto I wrote about the one thing I know I want in life; to be a good person. This is obviously an incredibly subjective thing. I don't mean I want to be a "nice" or "kind" person, though I definitely wish to be more kind than I am. "The Good" to me is living in the fullness of human potential, Of having a real lust for life and embracing what the world has to offer. I want to be the Ubermensh, or at least as close as I can get. If I can reach a point where I feel I am the best I can be, I will be happy, no matter the deficit that might remain between that and my imagined ideal. What I do know is right now, I am nowhere near this. Maybe this is the only point to life: To realize there is only us. There is no cosmic order, no hierarchy of value, no inherent meaning. I think the existentialist path is to understand this truth. Not lament it, as I mostly do, but instead to accept that we will find no answers; we must make them. Perhaps.
On a lighter note, I am going to post songs! Not always, but when it strikes me or feels appropriate. The first one comes from Mr. Lou Reed:
So a careful observer might notice it's a solid week since my last post. Well, rather than mince words about the how's and why-for's, Imma just jump right back into it.
For the remainder of this week I'll just be carrying-over the list from where I left off, with new additions coming Saturday:
Drink 4 *bottles* of water per day, starting with 1 whole liter immediately upon waking.
Ok it's come to my attention it's not actually liters, it's 4x my water bottle. XD This is closer to 2.5/3 liters. Today, I did this.
Multivitamins every morning.
No I forgot my vitamins due to being out of the routine I'm trying to establish. Got em set up for tomorrow morning where I can't miss em.
Clean out my closet. (Includes getting rid of junk and taking whatever I can to Goodwill).
Crap, forgot all about this! XD I am going to set the definitive goal to do this tomorrow after class.
Stop biting my nails/cuticles.
This one has been going really well. I haven't bit a nail or cuticle in at least 6 days. I bought a cuticle-pusher thing and an emery board to maintain them. I am such a metro!
Call a friend/family member every weekend.
No totally forgot this in the process of falling from my horse. Saturday morning Hoooo!
Listen to an alien album every week.
Yeah missed out on this one, I'll select the new one and post my choice Saturday.
Create and follow a detailed schedule.
Not too bad today.
Budget for all bills and expenses, including $50 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation. Keep a current, balanced checkbook (app).
Put the savings away, got the bills paid for this month, and a fair amount of extra income. Need to decide where the first $20 is going....
Maintain regular sleep patterns as scheduled.
Kind of messed up over the past 7 days, although I got to bed about 12:30 last night after D&D and got up with my alarm @ 8:30 this morning.
Maintain regular waking hours as scheduled.
Got up as scheduled this morning!
No more than one soda per day.
NONE
No more than three coffees.
Two cups of coffee @ home this morning
Exercise 45mins 5 times per week as scheduled.
Yes, and I kicked up the intensity. Added to the resistance level I usually use, and kept my heart rate between 148-152, spiking at 160 and never falling below 141
30 mins meditation every morning.
Blegh, totally forgot this one.
Vegetarian Diet
Despite my overall implosion, I've kept this one. Last meat I had was Saturday. Today: Brunch: vegetarian chili and a peach Jamba. Post-workout: Steamed rice and stir-fried tofu w/veg. Dinner pt. 2: 6" hummus w/ veg on wheat.
No cigarettes.
Mark stopped by and I bummed one from him. Only one today. This isn't hard until the evening, I will keep at it.
Practice guitar an hour/day. (Except Wednesday)
No, but in my defense I had some homework.
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
Ok things got a little miffed today. Not only did I get hit by a dude on a bike on my way to campus (which set me off on a rather bad mood) but I had to toss out my evening schedule due to a call from my Aunt to check on their cats in Sedona. Yes, that's right, I drove to Sedona to walk inside and look at their cats and then drive home. Yes, it is indeed ridiculous.
On with the blog!
Drink 4 liters of water per day, starting with 1 whole liter immediately upon waking.
Yup, sipping on # 5 now. Drinking the water down isn't too bad, but the constant peeing kind of sucks.
Multivitamins every morning.
Oi oi, and I noticed the "Alive! Whole Food Energizer" wants me to take 3 capsules a day, so I took my morning one then took 2 to school in my pocket and took em with my meals. Vitamins make the waterfall of urine from goal 1 a pretty neon yellow!
Clean out my closet. (Includes getting rid of junk and taking whatever I can to Goodwill).
Jah, this weekend, jah jah jah.
Stop biting my nails/cuticles.
Ok I put the stuff on today. I think I used a lot of nail polish remover but when I did a test taste it just sorta tasted like lotion. However, it did help with my awareness and today was bite free! However my huge nails and getting real tempting....
Call a friend/family member every weekend.
Is it the weekend yet?
Listen to an alien album every week.
Didn't listen to Rabbit Habits today, but I'll prolly give it one more go-through tomorrow and start the next new album Saturday.
Create and follow a detailed schedule.
Ugh, not so much. No guitar, no gym, no meditation. =(
Budget for all bills and expenses, including $50 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation. Keep a current, balanced checkbook (app).
I spent no monies! My goal for next month is to get a capo for my guitar and then not spend a single frivolous dollar for the rest of November.
Maintain regular sleep patterns as scheduled.
Went to sleep around 1 am, which is similar to what I would've done had we played D&D so I feel ok about it. I do need to adjust my calendar and decide on my later sleeptime.
Maintain regular waking hours as scheduled.
Blegh, I forgot to set my alarm for later when I went to bed, so I shut it off @ 6:15 when it went off and proceeded to sleep until 10:30. :/
No more than one soda per day.
1 Mtn Dew w/ lunch
No more than three coffees.
Dos americanos.
Exercise 45mins 5 times per week as scheduled.
Ok technically I don't have exercise scheduled for Thursday because of the "Spanish Tertulia" but I wasn't planning on going and I want to hit the gym every day if I can... but instead I drove to look briefly at cats.
30 mins meditation every morning.
With my oversleeping I had to get to campus so I totally skipped it this morning. =(
No more red meat or pork.
Brunch: 3 chicken soft tacos w/ lettuce and corn salsa + Mtn Dew Dinner: footlong hummus w/veg on wheat. Yes, I eat this a lot. ^ ^
No more than 6 cigarettes per day.
Sleeping so late helped a lot, hehe, I am up to 4 as of writing this so no problem staying within today.
Practice guitar an hour/day. (Except Wednesday)
Who needs guitar practice when you can briefly look at cats?
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
Kaboom!
I was in a weird mood today, and was getting a little....dark while driving to Sedona. I wish I had money to see a therapist =/
**BONUS POST**
Normally Wednesday is my "cheat" day because of D&D...but we're not playing tonight. =(
So, here be a bonus post! woohoooooooo!!!
Drink 4 liters of water per day, starting with 1 whole liter immediately upon waking.
Yes, I did this. I don't think I've ever peed so much in my life except during heavy beer drinking. In fact, I am at 4 right now and will probably finish a fifth before bed. I have had a slight headache since 2 pm or so, not sure if it is related. (isn't it dehydration that gives you headaches?)
Multivitamins every morning.
Yes, I am taking a multivitamin and this "Alive! Whole Food Energizer" that has buttloads of stuff, including spirulina and other "superfoods," a bunch of vegetable and plant extracts, minerals... all sorts of stuff.
Clean out my closet. (Includes getting rid of junk and taking whatever I can to Goodwill).
Well, I had originally planned to head to Phoenix this weekend, but for various reasons I don't think I'll be going. As such, I'll tackle this project Saturday or Sunday. The timing is perfect, as the Spanish department just started a clothing drive!
Stop biting my nails/cuticles.
Even though I forgot my magic lotion/remover blend, I managed to stay conscious enough not to bite any nails, and although I tried to bite my cuticles twice I stopped myself before the chomp. This one is looking promising with such rapid progress!
Call a friend/family member every weekend.
Not yet!
Listen to an alien album every week.
Third time through Rabbit Habits. Little too much xylophone for me. ;)
Create and follow a detailed schedule.
Rocked it today!
Budget for all bills and expenses, including $50 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation. Keep a current, balanced checkbook (app).
Ugh, I managed to leave my school ID @ home when I left this morning and wound up spending around 15 dollars on meals. Sad panda.
Maintain regular sleep patterns as scheduled.
Ok, I will be completely honest. I kept playing Fallout until 10:20, at which point I took my melatonin and went to bed to read. Went to sleep about 11:10.
Maintain regular waking hours as scheduled.
My main alarm is set to 6:15, I got up after one snooze @ 6:25.
No more than one soda per day.
1 Mtn Dew w/ dinner
No more than three coffees.
Two americanos!
Exercise 45mins 5 times per week as scheduled.
Unfortunately I couldn't make it cause I had stuff and things came up and....Nah, just messin. I went, and I am starting to actually get into it. I turned on Ogre Battle but quickly switched it off and focused on my workout. I threw two five-minute "sprints" in to get my heart rate up past "Cardio" (I usually try to keep my BPM 10 above what it suggests for "Fat Burn" at my age). Then, for the last 4 minutes or so, I decided to go balls-out, and got my heart up to 167 at the highest. However, I started getting that swimmy blacking-out sensation and couldn't feel my hands, so this was a little too fast for my current fitness level. I am a little worried about this whole exercise thing. It is feeding my masochism (one of my favorite qualities) and I know that if I continue and have success it will feed my egoism. Anyway, since I have had it in mind but haven't shared it yet, my first goal is to get down to 200 lbs. I am at about 211 now. Simple!
30 mins meditation every morning.
Went about 20 minutes then my mind was just way too flighty thinking about the day and things I had to do. I think I may be bored with the guided visualization and may just start putting on some Karunesh and focusing on my breathing.
No more red meat or pork.
Breakfast: Green Superfood Naked juice, onion bagel, americano. Lunch: Salad from salad bar (spinach, onions, broccoli, chickpeas, beets, cherry tomatoes, sunflower seeds, olives...few more bits) w/ balsamic dressing. Dinner: Eel roll, some noodles and string-bean chicken w/ a Mtn. Dew. See Below
No more than 6 cigarettes per day.
Did much better today, I think in part from the loathing that was creeping up from the difficulty I have been having with this one. As I write this (7:07pm) I have had 4 cigarettes. I will definitely have only 6 today. See Below
Practice guitar an hour/day. (Except Wednesday)
Although D&D was canceled, Imma take the break anyhow to play some Fallout. ^ ^ I don't feel too bad as Wednesday is my 'recreation' day anyhow.
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
Well, I guess I sort of violated this one with this bonus entry? Hehehe....violated....
Ok, so thinking about my diet has reminded me how terrified I am about diabetes and cancer. As such, I am going to move faster in a few areas. This weekend I will be, ahem, "cleansing." After that:
NO more cigarettes. (May violate when drinking.)
NO more meat. For now, I will continue to have sushi/seafood 1-2 times per week.
1 hour daily exercise.
With my exercise I am going to keep pushing myself until I can keep up a "Cardio" pace for the whole hour. I swear to fuck I better get some results out of this goddamn exercise or I will lose 20 pounds instantly by taking my legs off with a chainsaw.
Alright, I've decided I went a little light this week, so here are some ADDITIONAL BONUS GOALS!!!
Drink 4 liters of water per day, starting with 1 whole liter immediately upon waking.
Multivitamins every morning.
Clean out my closet. (Includes getting rid of junk and taking whatever I can to Goodwill).
The closet is the first of my one-off goals! I have some more planned for the future. I might try to start this tomorrow or else it's a weekend project.
Stop biting my nails/cuticles.
Caught myself many times today, but still managed to bite off my ring-finger nail before I realized what I was doing. I picked up some lotion + nail polish remover this evening to try for tomorrow.
Call a friend/family member every weekend.
STILL not the weekend yet. ;)
Listen to an alien album every week.
Today was my second full listen to Rabbit Habits, favorite songs are Top Drawer, Poor Jackie, and Whalebones. Not sure if this goal entails daily listening, but I'll probably give it another go-through tomorrow as well.
Create and follow a detailed schedule.
Not super good.... went to bed late, got up late, no meditation. =(
Budget for all bills and expenses, including $50 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation. Keep a current, balanced checkbook (app).
Bought some hygiene items and the stuff for my anti-nail-biting goal, also some new pillows cause mine were wrecked. Balanced from my "loose funds."
Maintain regular sleep patterns as scheduled.
Arg, I couldn't stop playing Fallout New Vegas til almost 11, so I didn't get to sleep til almost 12 and didn't read yesterday. Tonight it goes off right @ 10.
Maintain regular waking hours as scheduled.
Somehow managed to sleep until almost 8:30 this morning. Prolly has something to do with going to sleep later. =/ Need to be more diligent about both bedtime and waketime!
No more than one soda per day.
A pepsi with dinner.
No more than three coffees.
Two cups @ home this morning.
Exercise 45mins 5 times per week as scheduled.
Yes, did the full 45!!! Tis getting easier, playing Ogre Battle on my phone helps a LOT. Will probably be ready to bump this up to a full hour next week.
30 mins meditation every morning.
Totally dropped the ball on this one. This one is important because it has immediately observable results. Tomorrow fosho!
No more red meat or pork.
Chicken "bits" for brunch, then a footlong hummus on wheat w/veg after exercise for din din. Got two apples, prolly snack em down before bed. I am noticing that being aware of the fact that you will document what you ate for the day helps one to be more conscious of food choices!
No more than 6 cigarettes per day.
AGGGHHH DAMN CIGARETTES!! I am up to 6 already. Will probably get to 8 before bed. COLD TURKEY NEXT WEEK.
Practice guitar an hour/day. (Except Wednesday)
Yes! Though only half the time did I actually have the guitar in my hands. Other half was looking for new song to work on and checking out the Ebook I purchased. If interested, I am learning through the videos, ebook, and chord charts of yourguitarsage.com He's funny, and cute, and one day we're going to get married.
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
Ok so technically it's not day 4, but since I dropped the ball I am going to number from there. Today was a pretty good day:
Stop biting my nails/cuticles.
On the way home from the gym I absent-mindedly bit some hanging skin from my poor cuticles, and then when I got home and was checking some net stuff I bit my index nail off without thinking. Not too bad for no products/helpers yet.
Call a friend/family member every weekend.
Not the weekend yet. ;)
Listen to an alien album every week.
This week's selection: Rabbit Habits by Man Man. Thanks Barbara! To the others who made suggestions, I will keep them for future listening!
Create and follow a detailed schedule.
Did quite well today, except a few things noted below...
Budget for all bills and expenses, including $50 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation. Keep a current, balanced checkbook (app).
Didn't make any purchases today. Whew!
Maintain regular sleep patterns as scheduled.
Made it to bed sometime around 10:30 last night.
Maintain regular waking hours as scheduled.
Snoozed until 6:45, so not too bad coming off a weekend.
No more than one soda per day.
None today!
No more than three coffees.
I think it may of been closer to 3.5/4. The cold weather is going to be a real challenge to this one!
Exercise 45mins 5 times per week as scheduled.
16 miles, 45 minutes, BPM above 130 whole time. Moving this to right after my school day was a good choice, gives me less time to convince myself not to go. ^ ^
30 mins meditation every morning.
Ok only went about 15 this morning. Then my roommate got into the shower and the sound of him clearing his sinuses is like nails on a chalkboard to me. XD However, not his fault. I may try to adjust my morning a bit to do this after he splits for work or at least is done in the shower.
No more red meat or pork.
I had a late breakfast of a bagel and banana then some sushi after workout.
No more than 6 cigarettes per day.
This one is still quite a challenge. I'm already @ 6 and will prolly have one more before bed. Thinking about limited cigarettes makes me want them more while they conversely make me feel gross when I smoke. I think I may just go cold turkey starting next week.
Practice guitar an hour/day. (Except Wednesday)
Only did 30 mins, getting a little tired of Whiskey in the Jar. However my fingers are getting much tougher. I think I may work on 2 songs at a time to reduce boredom and song-fatigue.
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
Well, I had a fair amount of success at the front-end of the week. However, after Wednesday I experienced a domino-effect. I couldn't get to sleep after D&D until almost 3 am, and slept past ten on Thursday. Between that and the schedule changes I had to make re: preparing for my mid-terms, the rest of the week was largely a wash. I didn't even post! Tsk!
So I have made some alterations to my schedule that are a little more realistic yet still improvements. An updated version can be seen right up there ^.
This week I will be keeping all of last week's goals current (re-posting below).
In addition, here are the NEW goals for week two:
Stop biting my nails/cuticles.
Call a friend/family member every weekend.
Listen to an alien album every week.
In addition, I have tweaked and added to my carryover list:
Create and follow a detailed schedule. UPDATED!
Create and follow a budget, including at least $25 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation.Budget for all bills and expenses, including $50 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation. Keep a current, balanced checkbook (app).
Go to sleep every night @ 11 PM (12 AM on Wednesdays.) Maintain regular sleep patterns as scheduled.
Awake every morning @ 6:30 AM. Maintain regular waking hours as scheduled.
No more than one soda per day.
No more than three coffees.
Exercise 45mins Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri Exercise 45mins 5 times per week as scheduled.
30 mins meditation every morning.
No more red meat. + No more pork.
No more than 6 cigarettes per day.
Practice guitar an hour/day. (Except Wednesday)
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
In other news:
Several friends have found this idea to be a sound one and would like to join me in a life change! So, very soon, expect a web ring of inspirational goodness!!
Special thanks to Chris and Jeremy for being most diligent in helping me keep an eye on myself!
Ok, so first things first. I failed to post either Thursday or Yesterday =(.
In addition, Wednesday broke many rules: I had 3 redbulls, more cigarettes than I care to count, got to bed around 2 am.... etc. etc.
So, Wednesday is officially my "cheat" day. Also I have realized I need to tweak my schedule a bit.
While normally I will add goals to an archive as their week passes, for this coming week I will keep all of my foundation goals "current" (with some alterations) and also add a few new ones for the coming week.
Expect oodles of goodness tomorrow!
No study sessions, otherwise everything was in there.
Create and follow a budget, including at least $25 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation.
I downloaded some checkbook software for my droid and set up my mint.com account (also w/ droid app.) Now let's see how well I can stick to it XD
Go to sleep every night @ 11 PM (12 AM on Wednesdays.)
Melatonin kicked in fast last night, asleep by 10:30
Awake every morning @ 6:30 AM.
Snoozed the 6:20 alarm and got up right @ 6:30.
No more than one soda per day.
Had a cherry pepsi. Mmmmmm
No more than three coffees.
2 regular drip coffees for breakfast
Exercise 45mins Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri
Ok, I made it! I took my phone this time and watched =3 on youtube, made it much more bearable. I even stayed on the bike the full 45 minutes. I am using Runkeeper, but haven't set it up to share my logs yet. Soon!
30 mins meditation every morning.
Yes, was interesting, at one point all of a sudden I got this shooting, exaggerated pain in my left index finger (sore from geetar). In true meditative style, I worked it away with focus.
No more red meat.
Skipped breakfast (except coffee), Lunch: Leftover porkchop n beans. Ugh, no more pork. Dinner: 12" turkey on wheat con vegetales. Came with two bananas, prolly eat the second one before bed. Pepsi came into the picture w/ the sandwich
No more than 6 cigarettes per day.
Did well, had 4 so far and no way I'll have more than 2 more before bed.
Practice guitar an hour/day.
Broke this rule today, I have last-minute stuff to get ready for tomorrow :/ D&D is going to break a lot of rules methinks....Will be back to it Thursday.
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
Ka-kow!
Feeling a change already I think, from reduced smoking and less sugar from the soda. Meditation is having a positive effect as well. The regular sleep I'm sure isn't hurting. ;)
Another day down! As for yesterday post-blog, I did indeed have another cig, bringing yesterday's total to 9. :o
I also took my melatonin as scheduled, read Carlos Castaneda for an hour and was asleep a few mins before 11. So on to today:
Create and follow a detailed schedule.
Yep! Got a little behind toward the evening but everything got it's scheduled amount of time.
Create and follow a budget, including at least $25 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation.
Not yet, had a quiz and some other HW today so no chance. Tomorrow is a light day though.
Go to sleep every night @ 11 PM (12 AM on Wednesdays.)
Yep.
Awake every morning @ 6:30 AM.
Again, got up w/ first alarm @ 6:20.
No more than one soda per day.
Woot! One mountain dew with lunch, no mas.
No more than three coffees.
I had an americano and 1/2 cup of coffee this morning.
Exercise 45mins Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri
Ok, I was dreading this. I forced myself to go but could only handle 30 mins before I wanted to snap my own neck out of boredom. Tomorrow I will take my PSP and see if that helps. On a related note, I figured out how to slow down time and make ten seconds take one minute!
30 mins meditation every morning.
Yep, found a guided meditation I used to use, and ran through it this morning. Went great, and I really felt the effect on my morning.
No more red meat.
Breakfast: americano, green Naked juice, banana, seeded bagel w/ cream cheese. Lunch: Rainbow Roll sushi (tuna, salmon, Krab, avacado) between classes then a 6" hummus w/ veg sandwich on wheat after class. Dinner: Pork chop, rice, and peas. (I know, lots of pork...everyone in the house bought it recently)
No more than 6 cigarettes per day.
As of writing this I have had my 6 cigarettes, I am more than likely going to have one more before bed. Progress, ever forward! Tomorrow I should be able to keep it to 6.
Practice guitar an hour/day.
Holy crap it's almost starting to sorta sound like the song sorta! (almost) I am learning Whiskey in the Jar first. It uses G, Em, C, and D. My fingers hurt XD
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
Booyah!
Ok, it's been a busy day so I'm not going to say much more for tonight. (time to get my zombie killing on) Catch yas tomorrow!
Not too bad today, though not perfect. The rundown:
Create and follow a detailed schedule.
Done! View @ the top of the blog.Followed pretty closely today, except my planned "outdoor time."
Create and follow a budget, including at least $25 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation.
Not yet, will try to put this together tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest.
Go to sleep every night @ 11 PM (12 AM on Wednesdays.)
Went to bed a little before this even last night, no plans not to make it tonight.
Awake every morning @ 6:30 AM.
Got up @ 6:20 with first alarm today!
No more than one soda per day.
Ok, I got a Code Red mountin dew w/ my lunch then had a reggie mountain dew when I got home....last one in my fridge though so tomorrow should go better.
No more than three coffees.
One with breakfast, one late this afternoon = 2.
Exercise 45mins Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri
It's nice to start on an off day. ;)
30 mins meditation every morning.
Yep! Well actually I only made it 26 minutes, but that's pretty good considering the time since I last tried.
No more red meat.
Breakfast: egg/ham/chz croissant. Lunch: 4" hummus on wheat w/ veggies. Dinner: Pork chops n beans w/ wheat bread.
No more than 6 cigarettes per day.
Ok not so great, I had 8 cigs today and will prolly have one more before I turn in. Lots of free time on weekend though, weekday should be easier...?
Practice guitar an hour/day.
Hell yeah, my left wrist hurts and my fingers are sore. I'm learning G, E minor, and C. Thanks to Corban for sagacious wisdom. XD
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
Well, you're reading it, right?
Ok so not terrible. Muffed the soda and cigarettes, I kind of knew they'd be among the hardest. Also, I put a slot for outdoor activities on my schedule for Sundays, but I was housesitting in Sedona and didn't have a parking pass, so no hike. This may be a convenient excuse, not sure. Otherwise I followed my schedule quite well.
Pleased so far, it was nice to meditate and I am pretty sure I noticed an effect on my attitude throughout the day. I only road raged once!
All in all I am happy with day 1.
Normally I will keep my weekly list to a few items. For this first entry, there will be a few more so as to set the groundwork. First I must establish some routine and control:
Create and follow a detailed schedule.
Create and follow a budget, including at least $25 monthly savings and $20 charitable donation.
Go to sleep every night @ 11 PM (12 AM on Wednesdays.)
Awake every morning @ 6:30 AM.
No more than one soda per day.
No more than three coffees.
Exercise 45mins Mon, Tues, Thurs, Fri
30 mins meditation every morning.
No more red meat.
No more than 6 cigarettes per day.
Practice guitar an hour/day.
Add to this blog every evening. (Except Wednesday)
For a long time I've had a pretty good idea of the person I wish to be. A much better image than what I might objectively be able to paint about who I am.
At various times I have worked toward this projected self, and more often drifted from it or even deconstructed my previous success. Enough. I have had enough self-created anguish from an awareness of the disparity between who I am and who I want to be. I will NOT allow myself to continue on this unguided shamble through my life. I will not continue to drift between extreme egoism, self-loathing, and self-pity at my situation. I am nearly 27 years old now. I am terrified at how far I have come without any real advancement toward the only thing I know that I want in this life- to be a good person.
I have pondered, and pontificated, and proliferated excuses for myself. I have found myself lost in diversion, then lost in self-chastisement for such diversions. Enough.
Although this is somewhat profound for me, the solution is, of course, absurdly simple. Enough thinking about it. I know what I want to do, and attainable, measurable steps to reach my ideal self. I will do something quite simple; I will set and follow goals.
Weakness: I've tried this before, with varying success. Two things are different now:
A. I am older, wiser (hopefully), and more experienced in my own anguish and the cyclical patterns I have repeated in in my life.
B. I am going to use the power of teh internets! You may or may not of heard of people who diet blog... They set fitness and nutrition goals and use the community as their source of accountability. There is psychological research that proves this concept as well. It is one thing to compromise with myself or let myself forget, it is another to try and post about it in my nightly blog.
Which leads me to....
The Plan
Every week, on Friday or Saturday, I will post a list of goals/resolutions for the upcoming week. These will include many different types of things, which I will attempt to split into categories.
I will write a daily entry discussing how things went that day. This forces me to stay conscious of what I am doing.
YOU, my friends and other lurkers, help hold me to my commitments. This includes calling me out when you witness me violating my rules, asking me about my progress, etc.
And that's it! I will also write on the weekend post about my overall thoughts and feelings about the process.
