Manifesto:
For a long time I've had a pretty good idea of the person I wish to be. A much better image than what I might objectively be able to paint about who I am. At various times I have worked toward this projected self, and more often drifted from it or even deconstructed my previous success. Enough. I have had enough self-created anguish from an awareness of the disparity between who I am and who I want to be. I will NOT allow myself to continue on this unguided shamble through my life. I will not continue to drift between extreme egoism, self-loathing, and self-pity at my situation. I am nearly 27 years old now. I am terrified at how far I have come without any real advancement toward the only thing I know that I want in this life- to be a good person.
I have pondered, and pontificated, and proliferated excuses for myself. I have found myself lost in diversion, then lost in self-chastisement for such diversions. Enough.
Although this is somewhat profound for me, the solution is, of course, absurdly simple. Enough thinking about it. I know what I want to do, and attainable, measurable steps to reach my ideal self. I will do something quite simple; I will set and follow goals.
Weakness:
I've tried this before, with varying success. Two things are different now:
A. I am older, wiser (hopefully), and more experienced in my own anguish and the cyclical patterns I have repeated in in my life.
B. I am going to use the power of teh internets! You may or may not of heard of people who diet blog... They set fitness and nutrition goals and use the community as their source of accountability. There is psychological research that proves this concept as well. It is one thing to compromise with myself or let myself forget, it is another to try and post about it in my nightly blog.
Which leads me to....
The Plan
- Every week, on Friday or Saturday, I will post a list of goals/resolutions for the upcoming week. These will include many different types of things, which I will attempt to split into categories.
- I will write a daily entry discussing how things went that day. This forces me to stay conscious of what I am doing.
- YOU, my friends and other lurkers, help hold me to my commitments. This includes calling me out when you witness me violating my rules, asking me about my progress, etc.
